Hey, it’s me…the girl who owns this blog but for some reason fails to actually write and post regularly. I’m so sorry for the absence of my presence on here but truth be told I’ve been so busy and also my brain has felt like nothing I write is good enough to post, or is way to personal to post and I may end up upsetting one or two people…so them posts will stay as drafts to be posted one day I’m really and truly not giving a f***.
Life has been so busy since the start of August. I feel like I’ve celebrated my birthday on multiple occasions right up until September (my birthday was actually on August 4th) however I’m not at all complaining. It also feels like I was a bridesmaid for my Aunties wedding only yesterday, when in fact it was about a month ago now and I miss the day as a whole. I didn’t expect to get so emotional on the day but walking down the isle and seeing my dad and my mums cousin welling up literally set me off and I had to fight back tears…god weddings are so emotional especially when your Auntie who is more like a best friend is the one getting married.
Most of my friends are back from Uni now which I’ve loved as It means more time to spend together and planning things for November; such as Amsterdam in two weeks time. I frickin love Amsterdam so I’m so excited to be heading there with two of my best friends Lou and Carys. I think what also makes it great is that we are all heavily into fashion and photography so the photos are gonna be insane!! Their will be none of that ‘urgh one last picture’ nonsense when you ask someone to take a photo of you and they think one picture will do. I’m also going out for Halloween next Saturday and haven’t dressed up since I was about 14. I went to a house party as Tinkerbell..my sister suggested I wear that outfit next week and I couldn’t think of anything worse to be honest, it was the most awful outfit ever!
THE JEWELLERY BRAND I’M LOVING ATM:
If you haven’t already guessed, I AM OBSESSED with gold jewellery. There’s hardly a day that goes by where I’m not wearing some sort of gold jewellery. For someone who used to always be seen in a pair of statement earrings or a necklace, I’ve definitely gone back to basics with my jewellery whilst my style has completely reversed.
I tend to wear the same pieces on repeat, and most recently haven’t taken these gold earrings and vintage looking locket necklace from Jewellery Box off. Now I don’t spend a lot on the jewellery I wear so finding a brand that not only create expensive looking pieces that I don’t have to splurge on is a must and Jewellery Box is my latest favourite!
I’m also planning on getting a few pieces for Christmas presents this year as they come in the cutest packaging which I LOVE. And yes Christmas gift talk already however it’s literally 2 months and 1 week away so that means deciding what I’m going to be getting people… in fact a few of my friends have already finished their Christmas shopping but I can’t say I’m that organised myself.
BEING MORE PERSONAL:
Ever feel like if you aren’t personal or relatable enough online then you aren’t being true to yourself or is that just how I’ve been feeling recently? I think what has taken me so long to realise that I can and will in fact post whatever I want online despite fear of being judged or laughed at is that I really do not care what other people think. If I did I would hide in the non existent shell I have and avoid putting myself out there, however as you can tell that’s simply not me.
I posted something about a month ago when I was feeling really low and things that had been going on over the past year or so had all just build up inside and exploded all at once. I felt a little like a fraud on that day after posting a photo or two of me from the previous day looking super happy. So I took to Instagram to explain to people that I was in fact feeling the opposite of what my pictures showed, that I had spent the night crying my eyes out. I wanted people to realise that it’s okay to open up and admit life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and to be honest I received a really positive response of people thanking me for showing the reality and not so glamorous side of my life and that it encouraged them to do the same. I don’t want my blog/Instagram to show a false sense of reality so I think it’s important I use the platform to be as real as I possibly can be online.
I’ve kinda loved mixing my content around a little over the past few months, sharing more candid, less staged photos. Photos that would have once just made it onto Twitter or Instagram stories is now making it onto my main page… I guess you could say I’m having more fun with content creating and style than ever before, and loving my Instagram for it.
ADMITTING MY TRUE FEELINGS:
How many times in your life have you covered up your feelings or played them down in fear of being rejected or loosing someone for it. I’ve learnt a lot in a year and that’s not from just my own doings but the actions of others as well, and that is to admit your true feelings. I’ve lost people and nearly lost people in the past year or two from:
a) not standing my ground and admitting I’m not happy with the way someone is behaving
b) acting like I’m not as into someone as I actually am
c) not asking the right questions in regards to where I stand with someone
And I guess you could say I’ve learnt from these mistakes and am now changing the way I go about things when it comes to relationships (family/friends/boys).
I nearly let the fear of rejection completely take over a few months ago when I stupidly didn’t ask more questions in regards to what I was to someone. I was so scared of how I felt/feel about them that when they said ‘well we are just friends I guess’ that I ran away instead of saying to them I BLOODY LIKE YOU…A LOT. I think I let him have all the say in the situation rather than taking control and asking him what he meant by that and asking him how he truly felt. But no, I said ‘Okay’ got upset about it all and decided that it was too painful to pretend I didn’t like him In the way I did and ran away only to feel 10 times worse because the feelings never went and I was practically lying to myself the whole time.
I had some sort of epiphany about a month ago, realising that I had to be open about how I felt. Which is exactly what I did. And god, did I feel so much better for it. Telling him the real reason why I took it upon myself to attempt to move on and how It wasn’t because I didn’t like him, but in fact the complete opposite. I was scared to be so open, because sometimes when it comes to guys I can be a pretty closed book however this once I put my ego aside and was true to how I’d felt.
It’s a relief letting things out, telling someone you miss them, that you like them and are thinking about them. It can be hard if you don’t get the response you really wanted, but theres always the chance you will.
*jewellery in this post have been gifted to me by Jewellery Box, however all wording and opinions are my own.