When Friendships Turn Sour and Learning To Cut People off

I’ve had this post sitting in my drafts for months now…constantly going back over it and amending it from how I felt then, to how I feel now. Not much has changed in terms of my opinion on the matter of cutting people out of your life when they hurt you, or end up changing for the worse; into someone you never thought they’d be. I think one of the big things you learn as you get older is that the people you thought would be in your life forever, end up disappointing you and you have the choice to either let it go and ignore what they have done or to cut them out of your life with the aim of being happier for it. I tend to choose the latter in these situations as learning from past mistakes, people will always do the same as they have done the first time…whatever this may be. I don’t know whether it’s weird how easy I find cutting people out of my life to be, but I’ve often found it to be one of the best ways  to realise your own self worth and also to realise the type of people you want in your life and this has all stemmed from my past.

My friendships have changed over the years, as most peoples tend to. When  you are a teenager you tend to be more naive and don’t always feel confident enough to stand up to ‘friends’ that treat you like utter shit; they put you down for not being the brightest, they make rumours up about you and when something amazing happens in your life they aren’t there to praise you but instead to try and bring you down. Most of the time I would ignore what was happening, push it aside and carry on pretending to be happy. Past friendships I’ve had have mostly stayed in the past, especially ones where I ended up feeling betrayed, hurt and pretty much alone. Now I’m much more confident in standing up for myself, or knowing when someone isn’t always telling the truth, or being a good friend to me. However their is still that side that makes me question peoples true intentions after realising that you can be friends with someone for a long time and it can all turn sour in the end.

I’m a big believer in sticking with your friends no matter what, boys will come and go but your friends will always be there. Which is what I’ve always done whenever there’s been a boy in my life. Making time for your friends and not flaking on them to spend time with your ‘other half’ (I bloody hate that term) is important and something that’s always meant a lot to me. So when a ‘friend’ does end up changing and being the person you hoped they would never be, there’s only so much effort you can put in before you decide enough is enough. It’s a shame that some friendships do come to an end, but what could be worse is clinging onto the old them so tightly that you don’t even realise how unhappy you have become at the friendship. I find it so important that the people I choose to have in my life make some sort of impact, and the friends I have right now…well I couldn’t ask for a more amazing group of girls. Over the past few years I’ve also met people at work and in the blogging community who have been some of the most incredible people I will probably ever have the pleasure of knowing, and it’s sometimes nice to replace the bad with good and in this case It has resulted in a much happier me.

This year has taught me more than I will ever know, and can be thankful for. I’ve learnt that it’s perfectly okay to decide someone just isn’t making the cut any more and that you have no control over the person they have become. I’ve learnt that putting yourself first makes you a lot happier sometimes, and you don’t even need to apologise for being selfish (occasionally) as long as you have your best interest at heart. I want to keep on aiming to be better, but I also want to have better judgement of people from the start, to strive to have only the best people in my life that bring out the side of me that’s giggly and kind and truly myself. If anything what I’m trying to get across is that if you feel someone isn’t right for you anymore, or that something they have done just doesn’t sit right in your books, it’s okay to cut them off…it’s your life and you deserve to be surrounded by the most amazing people.

What I’m Wearing:

Top: Motel Rocks
Jeans: Bershka
Coat: Topshop
Shoes: Dr Marten

Photos by Callum Layram:

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