Being A Woman

I’ve never spoke about anything on my blog like this, or had anything happen to me like this before that meant that I could create a relatable post that truly resonated with something I had been through myself. However I had a pretty awful weekend; which in fact started of amazingly in London going out on the Friday and shopping on the Saturday to then an absolutely horrendous Saturday night which ended up me feeling as though one side of my body was becoming paralysed and that the world was caving in around me….I’d had my drink spiked. I’m not going to go into depth about the sequin of events because I am lucky to have escaped any situation from happening but since then I have felt a type of feeling I’ve never ever felt before. It’s a feeling of unease, vulnerability, anger and overall wishing I could go up to whoever did that to me and scream and shout at them and tell them that they are what’s wrong with the world. This feeling of vulnerability I’ve never quite felt to the extent I feel now; I have felt vulnerable in situations before such as walking down a quiet street at night on my own,  and the reason I felt so vulnerable was because I am a woman and unfortunately we live in a world where there are men that want to do bad things to us; whether that’s because it’s the only way these men can show their ‘dominance’ in society or whether it’s just because they are sick people who don’t deserve to experience the pleasures of truly living in a world where men and women should have the same rights. The thought of the people who did this to me, watching me in the club after they did what they did makes me anxious and feel completely violated; I didn’t ask for anything to be put into my body so what gives anyone the right to do that to me.

It actually wasn’t until I started telling people what had happened that I realised how scarily common it was for young women my age to have their drinks spiked, and luckily the women I know got out unharmed but there are women who aren’t as fortunate. I think it’s a shame really that now when I go out I feel like I’m going to have to be even more cautious than ever, not wanting to let any chance of that happening again. However it’s something I’m going to have to do to make sure I am safe, and to make sure my friends are safe too, although in saying that even at times you feel protected something bad can happen. How easy is it to turn your head for one second away from your drink, or to be on the dance floor waving your hands about that within that split second someone has decided to spike your drink…I guess sometimes it can’t be avoided and that’s what the worrying thing is.

I’ve always felt strong views towards the way us women are treated on nights out, but after having this happen to me It feels even stronger than before; the unknown of what could have happened if I hadn’t of locked myself in the bathroom but instead decided to get out of the club completely frightens me. You don’t truly know what people are capable of and that’s the scary thing with life. It’s horrific how some men feel like they are entitled to us, as if we owe them something.  They eye us up on nights out, but not in the way that makes it flattering but in the way that makes you feel like a piece of meat, an object. They sexualise you or feel it acceptable to touch you when you are dancing, and even when you push them away they don’t get the hint. It shouldn’t be this way though, I shouldn’t constantly feel as though I can’t have fun, but as a young women I think sometimes you feel like the risks are higher, and I feel like every woman I know can completely resonate with what I’m saying.

I want to be able to feel safe when I go out and have a few drinks, I want to feel safe when I show a little more skin that usual, and I want these men to understand that they are not entitled to any part of me. These type of men fall under a small minority though, and it does grate on me that many people assume that all men are like this…because that is without a doubt not the case. However within the world we live in there are groups of people who choose not to seek women as their equals and instead violate our rights. I don’t know how long it will take for things like this to change, and It’s sad to think that it could never change but as long as us women know the types of dangers out there it’s one step towards protecting ourselves.

2 Comments

  1. Holly White
    December 9, 2017 / 10:36 am

    Oh girl, I’m so sorry, that is so scat! But this is such an amazing and true post – something I’ve never really read anyone touch on before.

    Sending love xxx

    • caitlin
      December 11, 2017 / 9:23 am

      Thank you so much Holly! Definitely made me realise how unsafe we can be as women on a night out. xxx

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *