I’m really not one to try and push my opinions onto other people, but something I’ve realised more recently is that I am completely guilty of trying to get those close to me to open up about how they feel. Flaw or not, I get so frustrated when someone I love is hurting in any way and the realisation that nothing I do or say can make them feel happy again. It’s hard to watch those around you suffer with things that they just can’t seem to shake, things that constantly play on their mind and make them feel down every now and then. But sometimes you think that what’s worse is that you feel completely useless to helping them.
Happiness is something we all crave. Being happy with where we live, our job, who we are as a person, our friends, our families, our girlfriends and boyfriends and with life itself. Happiness isn’t handed to us on a silver plate and depending on the type of person you are happiness can be hard to latch onto. If you are like me, the type of person that tries to find the silver lining in every situation then happiness may feel closer than you think, but for those who feel like there are constant hurdles in the way that never seem to disappear, happiness may feel a million miles away, unreachable at times.
Making people happy brings me so much satisfaction and joy, I love when everything is shining rainbows and their are no clouds in the sky; metaphorically speaking. I love when life is being kind to the people I care most about, and everyone is singing and dancing and loving life…but that can’t last forever and I know that. There comes a time when people feel the weight of the world on their shoulders, they feel the pressure of the everyday struggles; it happens to us all. Whenever I feel like this I like talking to people, and it’s something I’ve learnt helps me more than I can put into words, it makes me feel like I can be honest and open and deal with my issues head on. But that’s just my coping mechanism, and I know full well that’s not for everyone (more recently than anything).
I’ve had to learn that I can’t push people to open up, I can’t push them to tell me how they honestly feel and I can’t tell them to take the wall down they put in front of them. I can though, show them that whenever they need me I’m here for them. It can be hard to just sit back and do nothing when you just want to wave your magic wand and make everyone better, but realising that what may work for you, won’t always work for them means you can understand that not everyone is the same as you, and you can’t fix everything and everyone, even if you are such a perfectionist, it’s just not possible.
My initial reaction to someone looking upset is always ‘Tell me how you feel’ when really I should see how they want to deal with it, not force it upon someone that they have to discuss their feelings with me. Sometimes all people need it so be comforted and reminded just how amazing, special and important they are, how there is just one version of them in the entire world and that’s pretty fucking incredible. I need to stop the irrational voice in my head saying ‘LET ME HELP YOU’, but instead let them deal with the problem how they want, take a breath and realise that no two people go about things in the same way, and that’s not an issue, it’s just what makes us human.
Blazer and Trousers: H&M