I’m writing this because I feel like it’s something that needs to be talked about, and I feel as though many of you who read this will relate. As a girl who’s had her fair share of ‘bitchy Drama’ as you could call it, I wanted to delve into just what makes girls feel the need to fight one another… I don’t mean this in literal terms but instead the idea that there is some sort of rivalry between us women when really we should be getting over this, sticking together and supporting one another, not calling each other nasty names and putting each other down for being different, because at the end of the day It’s about being true to yourself and letting others do the same.
I think when you are young you often follow suit and feel the need to fit in to allow other girls to accept you, but growing up has taught me many things, one being that you shouldn’t let someone put you down for something you are proud of and something that makes you different from others.
‘Don’t let someone dim your light, just because you aren’t shining in their eyes’
We’ve all experienced the ‘mean girls’ or ‘mean girl’ for that matter, the type of girls who view other girls as competition and decide from an instant they aren’t going to like you. From my own experience I found that it was these types of girls who you’d never even spoken to, you’d never been friends with them, never had any friends who were friends with them, and for some reason (no one will ever know) they decided to dislike you. Maybe they prejudged you based on what you looked like, maybe they prejudged you on how you acted with your friends, or maybe with boys. Were you popular? Did they feel threatened by this? The questions, well, there’s too many to note down. I don’t believe I’ve ever been one of these girls, I’m not saying I’m perfect and haven’t every thought of something horrible, but haven’t we all? The difference between them type of girls and me Is that I’d like to see women come together to empower one another, and I feel like this isn’t a hard thing to do, as long as we get rid of all the preconceptions.
My friends and I were a loud group in sixth form; you could say we were annoyingly loud at times, but whenever we were together we seemed to just have so much fun, and constantly be in hysterics at one thing or another. As a group we couldn’t help but feel as though heads would turn, and comments would be made every now and then, and for what, having a bit of fun? I loved seeing other groups laughing and having a carefree sense around each other, it shows just how comfortable they are around one another, and what better than having a group of girls you can feel like this around? I’d often feel as though sixth form brought about a lot of competition between groups, especially girls, where you’d feel as though others were constantly judging you, what you wore, how good you were in class, what boys you spoke to and what you did in your spare time. Instead of just letting people get on with their own lives, and letting them be themselves in peace, others would feel as though they’d have to comment on it.
Something that made me happy to be a part of the group I was with, was just how supportive we were, and still are of each other. We are eachothers allies, and number one fans and always feel the need to tell one another just how proud we are of what they are doing and are accomplishing, and for this we are strong together. This often gets me thinking, why can’t we all be like this? We shouldn’t be so negative of others life decisions, or go out our way to find out someones flaws so we can perceive this person as below us, to make ourselves feel better. If someone is doing something different (or the same) as you, and they are getting success out of it, don’t try and bring them down or feel you have to dislike them to make yourself feel better. You should use this as motivation to become the best version of yourself that you can possibly be…the chances are, that’s all they are doing.
There will always be people who don’t like you, girls who seem to just have something against you based around the way you look, what you do and who you are as a person. I know for certain that there are a few girls that dislike me, girls that I’ve never spoken to before, girls who I myself don’t dislike but trying to change peoples minds is hard, you can be true to yourself and rise above it all, what good comes from worrying about what people think of you when you are kind to others and that’s all that should matter. It’s these girls, that I feel need to learn the true meaning of female empowerment, how we are stronger together when we are supporting each other, when we are giving others a chance to be themselves and when we aren’t viewing every girl around us as competition but instead as allies in this big nasty world.
I honestly feel so proud to be apart of the blogging community, and feel like it’s a place that aspires me to be a better person, to not judge people before I know their story… because that’s one thing we often forget. Everyone has a story, everyone has a past and the way you go about creating yourself and treating others around you is important. Not everyone has a perfect life, and prejudging each other before you get to know them is something we need to learn to stop. Maybe the girl next to you looks like she has the world; she might be so pretty, super popular and always has new clothes to post on her Instagram. But instead of letting jealousy and envy take over (something which can consume us from time to time) comment on her photos, rise above whatever feelings you have and support her; because who knows what life she is really living, at home, at school, at work. I for one enjoy taking the time to support my fellow bloggers, appreciating their work and for this I feel happy to be apart of something that recognises female empowerment.
‘Females are not your competition. Women are your companions. Women are powerful and capable of anything, especially when we band together. Raise each other up, praise each other, and do not tear each other down.’
We need to stop viewing other women as our enemies. We have come so far to be able to voice our opinion on things we believe in, and we should this voice for the greater good!
Love Caitlin x