I can’t help but feel like this year has taught me so much, about other people, about the world as a whole and even things about myself. There’s really no denying this year has been interesting to say the least when it comes to Politics and what is actually going on around the world, many things which make me deeply saddened and realise just how lucky I actually am that I live in a beautiful house with the most amazing family and friends nearby…you just can’t comprehend the extent to which war has effected countries in this day and age and that there’s no signs of it stopping any time soon. I really hope that one day those countries will find peace!
One thing, which this year has taught me is that my worth is so much more than what I ever thought it was. I’ve started accepting myself for who I am and being less critical of my flaws, because at the end of the day you can’t help what makes you, you and you can’t change the things you’d call flaws (unless you have plastic surgery which I don’t plan on doing!) Self acceptance is so much harder than it sounds, especially when in the past you’ve been so negative about yourself, constantly feeling like all you were was just endless amounts of flaws piled into one. You’d wake up, look in the mirror and not really like anything about yourself. Your skin was spotty, your body was no where near what you wanted it to look like, and you wanted to dress so much nicer than you did…and to top that you wanted to be completely yourself, you just felt like there was a barrier in your way.
Flaws are things that we all say we have, they can be external or internal and can make us feel like crap on a daily basis. Sometimes we feel like they are all people see when they look at us, or speak to us and for me it has always been my skin. I used to sit and stare into the mirror and cry, and the even more irritating thing was that I did so much to try and have nice skin, it just seemed like nothing worked. Eventually it got better, but still it’s never what I want it to be and I kinda feel like I have to live with that.
On the other side of the spectrum of flaws there are things we like about ourselves, but the problem with admitting that you actually like certain things about yourself is the remarks that come after. We get called vain and big headed, for opening up and being proud of ourselves for how far we have come, what we have achieved or simply just something we do that we love. I remember when teachers would make you talk about what you were good at or what personality traits you had and you would sit and think about what you could say to make yourself seem less than what you actually were. In the end you might just say ‘I don’t know’ to avoid sniggers or feeling as though people would consider you big headed. It seems easier to put yourself down or hide who you really are, but one thing that this year taught me was that it’s so important to show yourself a little love; flaws included and to get over the fear of what people may say in return.
Of course, people will always be there to try and bring us down for things we are proud of, or things we think make us special and different from the next, and it doesn’t really ever stop. You can pretend to go along with their views, even if it goes against all your own beliefs, or you can choose to ignore their invalid opinions and keep working towards your own self acceptance. This year, I chose to do the latter because I was constantly tired of feeling down about myself and always putting me to the back when really if the word ‘vain’ is the all those people can throw at me then so be it, I am gonna keep on doing me and loving it in the process.
If there’s one thing I could tell my younger self, it would be that it’s so worth plucking up the courage to put yourself first, to do what you want to do and to never let others get in the way of your own happiness, even if it means being selfish or letting people go if they don’t support you. Don’t try and be someone else. be yourself and love every minute of it! If you like your new hair cut, go ahead and tell people, if you feel proud of the blog post you wrote, tell people, if you are just happy with yourself as a whole then don’t hold back and deny it, let people know. I often think the people that try and bring us down are the people with the most issues and maybe need to stop and think about how they can work on themselves.
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are”
So, putting myself first and showing more self love is something I am carrying on into 2017, and hopefully it brings me more happiness.